Years later, it’s hard to write this story. It was so scary and painful to have backed myself up against the wall that I still don’t like to think about it. I cleaned the cat boxes and vacuumed and did laundry and ordered a couple of holiday presents before forcing myself to sit here and write this today. When I’ve told this tale to students who have cornered themselves and are paralyzed, every one of them has asked me to write it down, so here goes (after several weeks of what I call “productive procrastination”… things are pretty tidy around here right now!).

For a while I thought there must be some way out of the corner. Could the rental company take a check? Cash? No. I called my husband in a panic and cried on the phone with vexation. Could they take a credit card from him? No. They needed an actual credit card to run on the spot (fraud has made everything so difficult for the rest of us).

Next I called my credit card company, explained my situation, and asked them very nicely if they could raise my credit limit. They informed me that it would take several hours to do so. I returned to the car rental counter to tell them this and they chose that moment to tell me that they could not run my card again for 24 hours (another fraud protection).

So, I’m nailed. Really completely totally stuck and I’m in a public place working really hard not to freak out and melt down in a heap. I’ve got an entire pre-paid group of 16 people to read, one hour outside of central Houston, in less than five hours and no way to get there.

Moments like this are the ones that define us. We’ve been avoiding doing something we really need to be doing, because it scares us, and our avoidance creates a scenario that’s unimaginably worse. It’s the old “what you resist persists” thing, and it’s overwhelming and terrifying, and it really pisses you off if someone points this out to you while you’re in the middle of it. Who needs it when you already so acutely know that you did not dodge the bullet? That there were no magical exceptions made for you regarding the slow build-up of cause and effect?

It’s hard to see what could possibly be “good” about being cornered, but in the larger scheme of things, it’s exactly where we each have to go, over and over again, so we will finally make the decisions we need to make in order for our lives to move onward and upward. Once we decide we can take the next step towards life looking like the one we actually want to be waking up to everyday.

At these points on life’s journey several things are challenging:

1. We’ve been keeping something in our blind spot and just can’t do it anymore, the naked truth is right in front of us, ”the proof is in the pudding.” We can’t deny that we have responsibility for the consequences we’re experiencing as a result of our (in)actions.
2. We’re often mad at ourselves, which is great fuel for change, but spend our energy berating ourselves instead of making the change (a form of exceptionally devious further procrastination).
3. We’re scared right out of our shoes.
4. We’re at a point where we take a step out of the corner or cower there and grow weaker. We face our fear or shrivel. There’s no way out and a choice must be made and consequences lived with.

After pacing the shiny sterile floors of the car rental center, something occurs to me and I sit down and dial the phone again. A new student had expressed interest in attending a hand reading evening and, to my relief, she answers her phone. I ask if she’d like to go to the one I’ve got that evening and could she drive us both there? Not only does she say yes, she is excited about the opportunity to be a part of it (thank you again Jennifer Langston McGee!).

So, I took a shuttle to my lodging and Jenn picked me up and we went together to the event. All my other appointments were private consults and the clients came to me. Phew!

Courtesty www.MattDuffin.com

But that’s not the end of the story, despite my wishes. If it was then I would just get myself into the same trouble again.

The real question was, “how did you end-up with only $30 to your name four years into your business, Ronelle?!” Well, um, er, ahhh…

The answer was simple, as was the solution, but doing it wasn’t easy for me. In short, despite working hard, I wasn’t doing what really needed to be done to get consistent results in my business, much less doing what it took, in practical terms, to move up to the next level of my business.

At the end of the trip, I did not conveniently “forget” how it had started or write my near debacle off to “bad luck.” On the plane ride home I decided/determined/resolved/swore that I would never get into that position again ($30 in the bank, credit card maxed, no rental car possible). And this required that I decide/determine/resolve/swear to myself that I would go home and make five phone calls per night to potential clients and prospective students until my business—and life—looked like what I wanted it to be.

I did, and within three months I was having the best year of business I’d had so far. And I’d like to say that this was the only time I’ve cornered myself one way or another, but of course that would be a blatant lie. This instance is just one of the more dramatic examples of it.

So, what can you do when your back is up against the wall?

1. Go ahead and fall apart a little bit so you’re not spending your energy budget holding it in.
2. Then pull yourself together by taking a deep breath and feeling your feet on the ground.
3. Admit to yourself what it is you need to do that you’ve been avoiding.
4. DECIDE to take action. (I love the word “decide” because it means “to slay other options.”)
5. Take action. Make a change. See it all as a grand experiment! The unknown is always more exciting than the familiar, but stagnant, place you’ve been living.

And, yes, things can get worse before they get better. When you clean out your closet the room is a disaster for a while, no? It all depends on how long you’ve been standing in that corner frozen, while life piles up around you.

The end of the year is a fine time to stop and take stock of where you are in your life. Are you backed into any corners? Are you tired of hearing yourself talk to everyone about something that isn’t working in your life (I had one of these and just decided to change it and did today…it’s taken two years)? Do you keep telling yourself that you’re going to change something in your life, but haven’t made a move? Do you keep getting in your own way? Putting things that are important to you off?

Take a look, make a list, then pick one and make a change. Once you start you’ll wonder why you thought about it for so much longer than it took to do it…even though you’ll know exactly what got in your way.

All Obama Photos Courtesy Obama's & Other's Flickr pages and Creative Commons License (see below)

So many well-wishers were hoping that I’d get to say a few words about our new President’s hands on The Today Show, that I thought I’d write one.  After all, I was hoping there would be time for this too as he has the most eloquent and thoughtful hands I’ve seen on anyone in my ten years as a Hand Analyst and his hands are notably unlike the other leading politicians. Fresh Vision with Heart The most striking thing about Obama’s hands is their narrow width and extreme length.  The overall shape of someone’s hands indicates the foundation of their personality and Obama’s is a combination of the elements water and air indicating a very thoughtful, and even visionary approach to relationships.  We call this combination “Early Mist” because it’s about fresh big-picture ideas rising from the waters of deep understanding.  People with this personality want to communicate (air) the deeper layers of meaning (water)  they find by paying attention to what is motivating people (and groups of related people) at the deepest emotional levels.  This is a powerful combination embodying both the rational mind and the sympathetic/intuitive heart.  When someone with this hand shape can balance the two opposing elements of air (“let’s be rational”) with water (“let’s do what the heart says”) they can then take an objective, fair, and sensitive approach to issues which deeply affect the emotions and people’s relationships.  They are able to strategize effectively according to the real nitty gritty underlying hidden forces that are driving the action.  Early Misters are the philosopher poets of the world and, at their best, don’t retreat permanently because they feel, and are overwhelmed by, the world’s pain, but step up to give voice to the suffering of others so that the truth can be known and justice (“the right thing”) can be done. This central major theme of deep feeling, sympathy, intuition, and psychological insight combined with rationality, objectivity, and a desire for fairness are found repeatedly over multiple markers in Obama’s hands.  For those of you reading who are students of the map of consciousness found in the hands, take a good look at both Obama’s left and right hands to see how many markers you can find which reiterate this theme (a sort of “Where’s Waldo” of the hands: HINTS: curved head-lt & straight head-rt, independent heads + task line tied to life-rt, practical task line in both + moon/inspirational branch feeding in…you get the idea).

Obama's LEFT Hand

Passionate Heart Adding a nice boost to taking action, Obama’s heart lines tell us that he has a fiery and passionate emotional system. Notice that the top main line in his hands, starting under his pinkies and curving sharply up to end near his middle fingers, is the strongest line in his hands.  The curvier a line is the more emotional and expressive it is and this is the curviest heart line anyone can get!  We call it the “Gina Lollabrigida” line after the fiery Italian actress of the 60s.  In men we call it the “Gino.”  Obama’s emotional wiring prefers to be outgoing, positive, enthusiastic, “places to go, people to see,” and emotionally intense and open.  His feelings are strong and he feels passionate about his relationships and wants a career that allows him to express the passionate feelings he has. The Presidency isn’t a bad stage at all for this, hmm?  At his best, Obama’s emotional wiring allows him to form intense bonds with others, be very comfortable with the strong feelings others can have, gives him charisma, and helps him show his passion for what he believes in, in a way that motivates the passion of others to “get up and do something!”  His “fire” heart line spurs him to take action on his thoughts and deep insight, rather than just sitting around philosophizing about things and never applying his ideas to the real world. So, when we add things up so far, we’re looking at someone with a Passionate Vision for Relationships.  He’s a rational problem solver (air) with a passionate heart and deep insight (water). Creative Urge & Big Voice Obama’s ring finger is long, especially in his left hand, and this denotes high levels of creativity that desire public expression.  It’s a nice addition to the passionate expressive heart line.  With a long ring finger he has a strong urge to offer his creative passionate ideas and insight to the public.  The large knuckle at the base of his left thumb also reinforces this theme.  This is the “throat,” as represented in the hands, and a large one indicates that its owner has a lot to express and an excellent “voice” with which to do so.  When the throat knuckle gets this large we call it the “Management Knot.”  Obama has a strong voice with which to influence others and what they choose to do and, in addition to this, he has a lot of energy to build something out of his life and in the world through his self-expression. Death Threats & Stamina All of the pictures taken at the end of the campaign and during the election show a tweak in Obama’s right thumb.  This is called the “grasping” thumb and it show stress in the zone of action-taking.  Imagine the pressures of campaigning for two years straight and then standing up to the expectations of becoming president-elect.  Especially as the first black man to be voted into the highest office in our nation.  Imagine that you’re making history—quite literally—and the entire world’s attention is on you—everyone’s hopes, fears, projections, applause, and hatreds.  There were bullet proof barriers on the stage to protect Obama and family during the inauguration.  His life has been under constant threat for quite some time and will continue to be so.  It reminds me of the kind of threat Abraham Lincoln was under when he had to sneak into Washington to take his post as President because there were so many death threats against him.  It also reminds me of the Dalai Lama’s thumb in the 90s when he was under a death threat.  Obama’s grasping thumb is a marker of security stress at the most fundamental levels.  Fortunately, he has a large strong thumb which indicates a strong will and much discernment.  He also has “stamina” lines which indicate an ability to endure and extras reserves of being able to grit his teeth and be stoic when necessary.  “Stamina” lines are back-ups to the life line (which is not about length of life, but about how grounded you are and the strength of your physical constitution—Obama’s are strong.  Look at the line which wraps around the ball of the thumb area…they’re long and complete.  The stamina lines are the short lines inside the life line closer to the thumb. Soaring Mind + Rooted in “Family” Neither of Obama’s head lines, the indicators of what kind of “computer” he has in his head, are tied to his “life” lines.  Remember that the “life” line is NOT about how long you will live, it’s about our orientation to family, group, tribe, and society—how “grounded” are you in yourself and in society in a way that makes you feel safe.  When the head/thinking line is not connected to the life line (this occurs in 80% of African Americans and 20% of Caucasians…another story) the person’s thinking is independent from family/society’s way of thinking.  This obviously has its upside potential and its downside potential.  Visionary thinker?  Or disassociated/disconnected from others with head in the clouds?  In Obama’s case he has a nice balancer in the fact that he has strong life lines.  This denotes a visionary type of thinking (someone who wants to look at the big picture and draw conclusions from seeing the system of things, not overly influenced by society) blended with a strong sense of  “family” or society as a whole.  This combination tells us that Obama thinks big picture thoughts about the whole system of things and how they impact the welfare of society and the world as a whole. Obama..and the Other Candidates Obama is truly different from the other politicians in many ways.  Here’s a quick look at the other candidate’s hands so you can literally see the overall differences.  The predominant hand shape element for all of the others is fire (lumpy irregular shape = creative, dynamic, enthusiastic, people-oriented).  Clinton has refined skin which shows her refined sensitive nature, Biden and McCain are both blended with earth (“Worker Bee/Right Livelihood” archetype) and Palin’s fire is mixed with water (making her the classic “Steam/Drama Queen” archetype as also evidenced by the difficulty I had in finding a straightforward shot of her always gesticulating dramatic hand!).

Hilary Clinton

Joe Biden-VP

John McCain

Sarah Palin

Barack Obama

“Something New and Different” When I look at all of these powerful hands together I think of the old Sesame Street game and song, “One of these things is not like the other, one of these things just isn’t the same.”  In November, the citizens of the United States voted for “something new and different” and they got it in Barack Obama! Thank you to all Photographers! All photos used by permission from Obama’s and Other Flickr Photo Streams under Creative Commons License 3.0

Superwoman producer Danielle on left, host Lester Holt with script, and that man is not zipping me up! I'm getting mic-ed!

And, yes, believe it or not, this was the most challenging part of the whole adventure because you can’t  wear just anything in front of the cameras.  Nothing shiny (that ruled out the beautiful silk Vietnamese dress I’d just had made and shipped from Ho Chi Minh City), nothing with a small print (the cameras translate fine prints into polka dots or the pattern “crawls”), not plain white (I don’t wear it anyway), and jeans were definitely out.  A run through several department stores turned up nothing for me to try on, much less actually buy.  The winter colors were all wrong for me and none of the current designs seemed interesting or special for this very special event. Time was short but I  wondered if there was someone local who could make me something.  I searched the web and confirmed what I already know about Portland, OR…it’s not exactly a fashion haven (black or gray hoodie sweatshirts and knitted watch caps are all the rage, along with super funky 60s retro clothing, hardly tres chic…forgive me Portland!). But there was one designer’s site that looked like a possibility.  So I grabbed my guy, who has a strong aesthetic eye, and drove across town to her boutique before it closed.  Alice Dobson designs beautiful comfortable classic/contemporary apparel for women whose brand name is Sofada (www.Sofada.com).  And though I was convinced I wanted trousers and the right blouse, when she pulled a dress off her rack for me to try on, I knew it was IT.  When I came out of the dressing room both she and my sweetie’s eyes bugged right out of their heads.  There was only one question left—could we find fabric in the right color to make it in?  Alice and I both searched the fabric stores the next day and she came up with the lovely peacock teal fine-wale Corduroy we went for.  After two fittings I was able to pick up the dress just the night before my plane flight out. I also took the opportunity to have my favorite San Francisco jewelry artist, Amy Faust (www.AmyFaust.com) make me the necklace and earrings to go along.  I’d bought a ring from her to commemorate my book’s acquisition by Llewellyn Worldwide a couple of years ago and thought it would be nice to have an ensemble to remind me of the publication of my first book and my first national TV appearance since the two are completely intertwined.

Rockefeller Ice

Coffee Series #2

My fabulous and talented editor, Carrie Obry, from Llewellyn Worldwide, met me in New York and dubbed our trip The Today Show Double Junket since the show flew me out and I, in turn, flew her out on my many air miles.  There wasn’t as much time for me to play as I’d thought, but we managed to drink lots of coffee and visit MOMA on Friday, in-between my prepping the host’s hands and fingerprints and visiting the studio for set-up in the afternoon.

NYC MOMA

Writing/Editing Cafe

At last, Saturday morning arrived and it was SHOW TIME!  The dress was ironed, I’d prepped the loose “script” the producer had very skillfully constructed, I’d gotten a call at 10:30pm the night before telling me they had to swap out one of the hosts, and the only thing I was worried about was having a “brain freeze” on camera in the very short time of the segment.  The producer was thrilled that she’d been granted the longer time slot of 4.5 minutes (instead of the standard 3.5) and it was time for me to decide to lay it all down and TRUST MYSELF and the entire process from here on out.  I’d prepared for TEN YEARS for this through every reading offered, every group of people I’d read to each other, every lecture done, every class taught.  I never worried for a moment about what I know about hands and how to deliver what they have to say…it was only that everything had to be expressed in the shortest soundbites possible and I needed to convey the essence of everything—hand analysis, the fingerprints, and something about the host’s hands—ALL IN 4.5 minutes and LIVE (the  show was not recorded in advance).  And then, there was the deodorant problem! Carrie met me outside of the studio, where all the people look through the window and wave at the cameras, and we told a security guard that we were on the list.  The street was barricaded in preparation for the fans who would come later.  We were taken up to the Green Room by an NBC Page.  Pages are interns who have the coolest jobs in the world working in many different positions for different NBC shows.  Our’s was a lovely soft-spoken woman who had worked a stint on the David Letterman Show before coming to Today.  The producer, Danielle, came from Austin to Today as an intern and thought she’d live in NYC for six months, then they offered her a job and she’s been in New York for three years (they were smart to keep her!).

Green Room

Carrie was looking forward to eating bagels in the Green Room and her dream came true!  There was a tasty spread laid out below the pictures of all the show’s hosts.  As food-oriented women, we sure enjoyed it!

Jenna Wolf's Prints

Once we were settled in, another page brought me the new host’s hands.  Originally one of the hosts was Amy Robach, but she got called out on assignment (so much for the four foot blow-ups of her hands on the set) and Jenna Wolfe stepped in.  Interestingly, they have the exact same fingerprint pattern/life purpose, so my life was wonderfully uncomplicated in terms of re-memorizing print charts.

Always bring a true friend!

Then the moment came…Carrie pulled a stick of deodorant out of her purse for me!  I’d forgotten mine and never managed to stop in a drugstore the day before so I’d emailed Carrie (she’s on iPhone…I want one too!) asking her to pick some up on the way to the studio while humming that old song, “getting to know you…getting to know everything about you…” And before we knew it here comes another page to take us up to make-up…perhaps for me one of the scariest moments of surrender.  I’m not the kind of woman, who is, well, very womanly about makeup and hair…I don’t wear makeup except when presenting and I do nothing to my hair except wash and comb and let drip dry.  I’d gotten up a little extra early so I could give it time to dry and curl naturally.  But as soon as I sat down in the hair guy’s chair I quickly realized I should’ve gotten the extra snoozes instead. The hair guy went after my curls with one goal only…to straighten them out entirely.  I told myself “Ronelle, you decided to just go with the process here.”  So I did and hoped I would come out looking at least somewhat like myself.  A makeover certainly wasn’t what I had in mind!

Hair and Makup Attack!

A few minutes into the hair, and the makeup woman starts working on me.  They both knew exactly what they were doing and were REALLY GOOD at their respective arts/skills because, let me tell you, being worked on by both of them was much trickier than putting on my own mascara while driving!  And they had to get the job done quickly, the clock was ticking.  As soon as they were done they sent me to put on my dress and heels (everyone loved the dress) and onto the set…

With Danielle

With Lester Holt's Prints

…where we did the last little bit of setting things up.  Everyone was very calm.  This is where it became very apparent that they not only do this everyday they do something like fifteen segments everyday! What was a big event for me was the daily routine stuff of their work lives and they are very practiced at it.  Their calm definitely rubbed off on me at this point.  Lester Holt came in with his script and introduced himself, a microphone was put on me, some of the crew asked me where the heck I learned this anyway?

Lester Holt Preparing

Then someone started counting…45 seconds, 44 seconds…and the entire crew swiftly, quietly, and efficiently all took their places.  Carrie was in the kitchen (we were on the other half of the show’s kitchen set), behind the counter, unobtrusively snapping pictures (with that clever iPhone—no flash necessary).  She moved a little bit and someone shouted, “Be still in the kitchen!” and she froze and then we were on the air.

Lights, cameras, action!

What was amazing is how fast it all went once the cameras were rolling.  It started, and then it was over in the blink of an eye.

On the air.

The host, Jenna Wolfe asked me a question about her prints afterward (in the 20 seconds or so available to her before she had to run to the next set and segment) and the crew slipped off to the next thing they all had to do.

We did it!

Carrie snapped a quick shot of me with Danielle then it was back to get our coats so we could go. Later that day I heard from her that “it couldn’t have been more perfect” and that her boss was very pleased.

On the way out.

Security Guard's Hands

As we left the building we received lots of positive feedback from everyone in the building who was watching the show (the studio has screens everywhere).  Then out the door we saw the end of show wrap-up on the street where all the fans were. Perhaps one of the sweetest moments was when the last security guard politely asked me if I could look at his fingerprints for him.  He was so friendly and warm and he had exactly the purpose I suspected,  Master of Love & Connectedness! I did go ice skating right there at Rockefeller Center, after changing clothes (it was below freezing), and for those of you who know about how much I love the ice, it was a magical time.

Callie, Me, Carrie in SoHo!

Carrie & Shawn.

Later that night I got to celebrate with Carrie, her good friend Shawn (who graciously put us both up in the livingroom of his teeny 3rd floor Hell’s Kitchen walkup—I only stayed in a hotel one night because I had to go to bed early), and their good friend Callie!  Now, what could be better than that and the several hundred well-wishing emails I received?  Thank you to everyone.  I’m so honored to get to cross paths with each of you and to have my life enriched beyond anything I could have ever dreamed for myself…I couldn’t be here without all of you!